Do you really love him? I bet you do, or at least you think you fall in love. Actually, you are partially right. So, if you feel light-headed whenever you see him. If you feel butterflies in your tummy whenever you catch his 1000 megawatt smile. If your mouth hurts from smiling and you feel like your face is semi-permanently paralyzed whenever you hear a nice word from him.
are in love NOT in love. You partially fall in love.
Because love isn’t one emotion or two, love is a whole pallet of different shades of grey. Here are the three different shades of love:
The off-white love.
I call it also the indirect love but I love this name as well. Basically, because it explains the meaning amazingly. Like, Com’on how many times you mistook off-white for white or beige or even a creepy shade of yellow. That’s what I am talking about. You mistook that feeling for love.
It starts often with an interest in you, he looks at you way too long, smiles way too often. Then, asks for homework, favor, etc..Then he asks for your number, and after that amazing night at the movies.
Voila!!! ” I love you, ” he said.
I bet on my next meal that you had said ” me too “ without even thinking.
But let me ask you a couple of questions. If he had never complimented you regularly? If he had never stared at you for ages? If he had never given you flowers? If he had never loved you in the first place? Would you still felt like being on fire whenever you glimpsed him?
We girls are emotional human beings, we love with our ears. We adore the feeling of being number one and only. That amazing feeling of being the mere thought in someone’s mind. The problem is sometimes we misplace the love of someone and the love of a word said by him.
The Maroon love.
I love Maroon but my problem here is whenever I buy that bag or shoes with the perfect shade of Maroon, I go home and it becomes that ugly shade of red. I guess, sometimes things appear overrated when the lights are on.
Same is your boyfriend. You think you fall in love with him but have you ever seen him without his beard? ( Com’on ladies, that’s your weak spot😅😉 ) Would you still love him if he didn’t send you a good morning text? Would you still love him if he got angry at you? Raised his voice? Forgot to call you? Gained weight?
You can’t love somebody and expect to be with him for only his good traits. If you hadn’t seen the so-not good side in him, it only means that either you are a fool or he is a good actor or both.
The Black Love.
I love black. You can’t miss black or even mix up between it or any other colors. It is easy and obvious. Same as your expectations. Well, most of them. Because sometimes your expectations are wrong. You can’t love someone upon expectations. If your love for him is based upon what’s he is gonna be, then, this is not love at all.
You can’t fall in love with a smoker and expect that he will quit this habit for you. You can’t love him with extra pounds and think he will drop those pounds after marriage or accept any kind of disrespect from him, hoping he would be nicer in the future. If your love is based on events in the future, then you better wait for them before loving him in the first place.
Anyway, before any decision you make. Either it’s a life-changing relationship or just a silly crush. You have to ask your self 3 questions:
- Would you still love him, if he didn’t show any interest in you?
- Would you still love him, if he changed 100%?
- Would you still love him, if he didn’t meet your high expectations?
If you get 3 yes, then enjoy it as much as you can, but remember every one of us has a happily ever after. We just need to earn it first.