Going through a breakup is not an easy situation that you can pass easily while all you can feel is hurt, pain, and anger. You can’t stop your brain from rewinding your moments together having the best type of food you like or just laying on couch watching your favorite series. That weigh you feel through your heart can’t just go away and the lump in your throat is really hurtful that you can’t stop crying. Passing that with a bowl of cheese balls and the ice cream flavor your love won’t help (it may get you through for a couple of nights)! It’s like the time has stopped and you can’t do anything in your life as you neglecting your work, can’t remember when the last time you took shower, get into an endless loop of depression, you just out of the world to unknown place. So, how to get over a breakup and a broken heart? The answer is considering it a new chance to start another bright chapter of the life you always wanted. Of course, it won’t be that easy and it would take time and lots of hard work but it’s better than sobbing in your bed while there are tons of good things waiting for you out there.
8 Steps on how to get over a breakup…
Accept that you will be in pain
From the moment you breakup in, all you think of is pulling out the pain inside and stop feeling the anger and bitterness inside you. Well, it won’t go away that soon or that easy and you need to adapt with the fact that you will be in pain for not short time especially if it was long term relationship that took you years to develop and share everything about one another, it’s called radical acceptance and you can read about it here. Accepting that you will be in pain doesn’t mean to set still not ding anything, you need to start with planning to your new life positively and what you’ll be doing about it. Take an hour of everyday thinking about things that you will accomplish next in your life and put plans about it. Don’t try to run away from the pain though instead, give yourself a chance to embrace it and accept that it was meant to be and their all always positive sides that you need to look at and appreciate what happened for. There must be drops and failure parts about this past relationship that made you unhappy or anxious sometimes, remember those experiences and be grateful that you didn’t spend more of your precious time through that relationship.
Get your feelings out
One of the most important rules on how to get over a breakup is never to suppress the feelings you’re going through or ignoring them. When you throw all those hurtful feelings deep down your soul they will turn into bad habits or psychological problems that you’ll find hard times to deal with in the future as they will be affecting your life on a very wider scale. Speak yourself up with people you trust like your best friends or your family and don’t be ashamed of how you feel. Don’t ever blame yourself that you’re feeling like that, we’all get through hard times in our lives and these are the moments when we need the people we trust and love in. If you not comfortable with the idea of speaking it out loud with someone you know, get professional help from a therapist. Or you can write everything inside you in a paper, it doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not the purpose is to get that heavy feeling out of you and deal with it instead of pushing it away.
Indulge yourself with new experiences
Sitting in your bedroom doing nothing but thinking about your ex and how shitty you’re feeling won’t help by any means, you’ll just feel worse and worse over time. Get out of your home and try new things even if it’s trying a new type of food or just going to a restaurant you never been to before. The purpose of experiencing new things is creating new memories without your ex being in them. Traveling is another gate to open on a new world that you’ve never been in before. You get to know new friends and new feelings you can fill the empty space in your life with. If you have a hobby try to enrich it with a course or share it with other people who can relate to it, try to learn from everything come to your road and grow from it into a better personality. By the time, all you can think of is how to truly focus only on yourself and do self-growth instead of thinking about a worn-out chapter of your life. Don’t quit the good activities you used to do together like volunteering or even doing work plans, search for more options to upgrade that and make it more worthy and satisfying to you. Search for new kinds of charity or take new courses on how to be more planned and organized.
You need to start self improvement
How to get over a breakup is always a tricky question because you sometimes fall in the trap of, I’m i doing that for myself or it’s only a temporary act I’m doing to prove something to my ex, most of the time the answer will prove to him how good am I and he just lost me. That’s when you need to think about doing self improvement and you only need to think about the life you want to get in the long term not just for a couple of months or weeks. You need to be serious about that and believe deep down that you want to change for better and the only person you need to prove something for is YOU. To learn more about self improvement read that post.
You must have fallen in the trap of starting a new relationship as soon as possible and get to know new people and start the love process all over again. The truth is, you only seeking a way to escape because you aren’t a robot! You have been hurt and you should take your time to pass that pain hen you need to build yourself up again and gain your trust, then you can define if you’re ready for a new person to get into your life or you just okay with the way you’re. Quick relationships may make you feel worthy or loved, but deep down you will feel guilty and you will hate yourself for doing that because it’s nothing but a superficial act that won’t have any kind of investment or long term effect but making you feel worse about yourself.
Get the real picture of the relationship
We tend to remember the romantic moments and good times we spend with our EX, but every relationship has its bad times which led to a failure. You must have gone through disappointments with that person whether they didn’t care about what you feel, wasn’t planning for something serious, consistently putting the balm on you, or wasn’t that supportive. Instead of letting those romantic memories control you. Be realistic and set your mind with the true and hurtful big picture about how this relationship had more cons to your life and stepping you back from owning, deserve, and living the relationship you always dreamed of. Don’t underestimate your value or take any negative talk about you seriously, because no matter how this relationship ended you both did wrong and no one should take full responsibility.
Try not to stock
Our curiosity is the most pungent human instinct that helped us to survive many disasters from the time we have existed, but it’s not much of worth when it comes to how to get over a breakup because it’s a killer act that will drag you to a dark whole you don’t want to be in. During that time social media is your biggest enemy and because we can’t live without it nowadays it’s better to block him from all your accounts because even if you quit social networks for a while you will be back and you’ll be eager to check on him. Another thing that you need to not come even near it is sharing your life consistently on the platforms, try to keep what you do to yourself because teasing that person or just proving something to will affect your self-esteem and you will start doubting yourself and do things that doest present you! Another thing, if you have mutual friends try to be honest with them and be clear about that you don’t want to hear anything about that person in particular even if it was a shitty talking about him to make you feel good or so.
Throw anything connect to your ex
Through such times the last thing you want is a sweater belongs to your ex with the smell on it, you just gonna break out and you will start to feel lonely and hurt all over again. Pictures on your phone should be the first thing to delete and replace with other happy moments you will spend alone or people you love. If you used to leave together it’s better to move into a new place where you can create new and fresh memories. It’s more like a detox action for your life and your inner soul as well.