Burn out!! Does it look familiar to you? Of course, this word has popped up into my face tons of time along the last two weeks whether on the glam feeds and stories or on my YouTube wall. Every media platform, channel, and blogger have brought the topic up on how to get it rid of burn out or give yourself a break to breathe up and have some peaceful easeful time away from your job or work life. Well, I don’t actually believe in that whole cr**b of burning out, for me, it isn’t only a work-ish thing it is included in each level and corner of my own life.
Stucking in burn out whole…
You read lots of articles on how burn out connected to the seeking of growing up on your job level and how you might put a too high level for your goals, how you may not able to sustain yourself in that work environment, and how you run out of the power to deal with all these people. If you took those things and look through a 360-degree image on your life you may see how much they can be applied to nearly every place in your life.
I have been stuck in that burn out whole for years, nearly since my second year of college, I stressed out because of my marks and how can I get that 4.0 GPA, I stressed out because I wanted to be that popular girl which everyone love and willing to get to know her more, I pushed myself to the limit to build up the new me – The one who can no longer take money from her family, the one who can make her own decision, the one who can have her own career, the girl who can force anyone treat her the way she wants. I stressed out to keep my love life in a good place – to keep it normal, healthy, free from lies, and let that true love last.
You may have experienced that too gurl, and you may still like I am, changing your life to the better is non stop – most of the girls always carry lots of details in their mind, they need everything to go in the right way and that comes surly with burn out and lots of overthinking. If I am in a relationship, then I want my partner to be endorsed with even if it hearts and that always put pressure on me, I am not that person who can trust easily, I always doubt and I always need a right explanation, I care for every word being said – so I never take things easy or have that carefree vibes.
I never thought that my life would be in that easy-breezy mood and that is an obligatory thing for me as I suffered from anxiety as long as I remember, insecurities were also a pivotal part of my everyday life – waking up early, the sunset-time, the wintertime give a shock of anxiety and insecurities with reasons I can’t even tell. You may say that is some kind of mental illness, well I won’t disagree with you, but I can see that I still able to control my life.
When it comes to the sociality, the glam, and the blogger community burn out will be non stop even if I tried to escape it will hunt and prey on me too. The whole social acceptance thing, attention whore attitude, and pitching of practicing will eat me out bite by bite through time it is something I can’t get rid of actually my whole career built on that – I actually didn’t decide or chose that, but the people want they want you to be around whole the time they want more and more of you and there isn’t a specific time for that it is actually 24/7.
I am still on the first prick of the pyramids, I didn’t own the things I really want and I didn’t even live them. Burn out will be my whole life imaginary friend, and actually being friends with these kinds of feelings and encountering them lessen the weigh effect, but would I really make it?